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Thread: Soulmates?

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    kantoka's Avatar
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    Unhappy Soulmates?

    Someone mentioned a while ago to another dreamer that she had heard of people dreaming of their "soulmates" eventhough they were not connected in waking life.

    Can anyone elaborate further on that?

    I have been struggling for years with dreams of a man who I meet in my dreams regularly, and we have a strong bond, but in real life we are not together nor do we live near each other anymore.
    What does this mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by kantoka View Post
    Someone mentioned a while ago to another dreamer that she had heard of people dreaming of their "soulmates" eventhough they were not connected in waking life.

    Can anyone elaborate further on that?

    I have been struggling for years with dreams of a man who I meet in my dreams regularly, and we have a strong bond, but in real life we are not together nor do we live near each other anymore.
    What does this mean?

    Who can say?

    But yes, soulmates can sometimes find each other in the Dreaming...I was with a woman and that ended. For 10 years I had not seen her or spoken...Yet my dreams would keep us in touch...I knew she was moving years before she actually left the area....Knew about her children before she became pregnant...Knew that despite time, space and distance, certain things remained unchanged. It was agony to be so often reminded of someone i'd truly loved and lost...But necessary...Because those dreams helped me to prepare myself for when we were to finally meet again...
    The point is...When there is true love, there is ALWAYS a connection that goes beyond miles, years and even death....A soulmate doesn't have to be romantic either...It is someone whose soul is connected to yours...This is not romance and goes beyond what most people think of as "love"....
    It is connection.

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    Well, I don't know about 'soulmates', but I would definitely say that I have confirmed conversations between myself and other people with whom I was very close that took place while I was dreaming. I liken it to the sleep version of 'kything' from Madeline L'Engle's books.

    If you can get to the point where you can recognize that you're in a dream, you can have conversations with the person that you will remember. Next time something like this occurs, ask for his number, write it down in your dream, then call him immediately after waking up, and tell him your name. At worst you can explain that you "must've dialed the wrong number", at best you will confirm your suspiscions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kantoka View Post
    Someone mentioned a while ago to another dreamer that she had heard of people dreaming of their "soulmates" eventhough they were not connected in waking life.

    Can anyone elaborate further on that?

    I have been struggling for years with dreams of a man who I meet in my dreams regularly, and we have a strong bond, but in real life we are not together nor do we live near each other anymore.
    What does this mean?
    Do you know this man? In my own experience, I deamt of my husband to be before, but I felt it was more in vision as I felt I was awake but I couldn't move, (only figure and body shape, hieght but the color of his skin was not clear because it was dim). 7 years after this dream/vision, I met a man whom I felt he was the one and we got married.

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    What does this mean?

    One of the possibilities is that you have projected your ideal image onto this man - in your dreams then he has become a symbol - Perhaps for your soul image or Animus


    Soul-image
    The representation, in dreams or other products of the unconscious, of the inner personality, usually contrasexual. (See also anima and animus.)

    The soul-image is a specific archetypal image produced by the unconscious, commonly experienced in projection onto a person of the opposite sex.

    Many relationships begin and initially thrive on the basis of projected soul-images. Inherently symbiotic, they often end badly

    Animus - The inner masculine side of a woman.
    Like the anima in a man, the animus is both a personal complex and an archetypal image.

    Woman is compensated by a masculine element and therefore her unconscious has, so to speak, a masculine imprint. This results in a considerable psychological difference between men and women, and accordingly I have called the projection-making factor in women the animus, which means mind or spirit. The animus corresponds to the paternal Logos just as the anima corresponds to the maternal Eros.["The Syzygy: Anima and Animus," CW 9ii, pars. 28f.]

    The animus is the deposit, as it were, of all woman's ancestral experiences of man-and not only that, he is also a creative and procreative being, not in the sense of masculine creativity, but in the sense that he brings forth something we might call . . . the spermatic word.["Anima and Animus,&quo CW 7, par. 336.]

    Whereas the anima in a man functions as his soul, a woman's animus is more like an unconscious mind. [At times Jung also referred to the animus as a woman's soul. See soul and soul-image.] It manifests negatively in fixed ideas, collective opinions and unconscious, a priori assumptions that lay claim to absolute truth. In a woman who is identified with the animus (called animus-possession), Eros generally takes second place to Logos.

    A woman possessed by the animus is always in danger of losing her femininity.["Anima and Animus," CW 7, par. 337.]

    No matter how friendly and obliging a woman's Eros may be, no logic on earth can shake her if she is ridden by the animus. . . . [A man] is unaware that this highly dramatic situation would instantly come to a banal and unexciting end if he were to quit the field and let a second woman carry on the battle (his wife, for instance, if she herself is not the fiery war horse). This sound idea seldom or never occurs to him, because no man can converse with an animus for five minutes without becoming the victim of his own anima.["The Syzygy: Anima and Animus," CW 9ii, par. 29.]

    The animus becomes a helpful psychological factor when a woman can tell the difference between the ideas generated by this autonomous complex and what she herself really thinks.

    Like the anima, the animus too has a positive aspect. Through the figure of the father he expresses not only conventional opinion but-equally-what we call "spirit," philosophical or religious ideas in particular, or rather the attitude resulting from them. Thus the animus is a psychopomp, a mediator between the conscious and the unconscious and a personification of the latter.[Ibid., par. 33.]

    Jung described four stages of animus development in a woman. He first appears in dreams and fantasy as the embodiment of physical power, an athlete, muscle man or thug. In the second stage, the animus provides her with initiative and the capacity for planned action. He is behind a woman's desire for independence and a career of her own. In the next stage, the animus is the "word," personified in dreams as a professor or clergyman. In the fourth stage, the animus is the incarnation of spiritual meaning. On this highest level, like the anima as Sophia, the animus mediates between a woman's conscious mind and the unconscious. In mythology this aspect of the animus appears as Hermes, messenger of the gods; in dreams he is a helpful guide.

    Any of these aspects of the animus can be projected onto a man. As with the projected anima, this can lead to unrealistic expectations and acrimony in relationships.

    Like the anima, the animus is a jealous lover. He is adept at putting, in place of the real man, an opinion about him, the exceedingly disputable grounds for which are never submitted to criticism. Animus opinions are invariably collective, and they override individuals and individual judgments in exactly the same way as the anima thrusts her emotional anticipations and projections between man and wife.["Anima and Animus," CW 7, par. 334.]

    The existence of the contrasexual complexes means that in any relationship between a man and a woman there are at least four personalities involved. The possible lines of communication are shown by the arrows in the diagram.[Adapted from "The Psychology of the Transference,"CW 16, par. 422.]


    While a man's task in assimilating the effects of the anima involves discovering his true feelings, a woman becomes familiar with the nature of the animus by constantly questioning her ideas and opinions.

    The technique of coming to terms with the animus is the same in principle as in the case of the anima; only here the woman must learn to criticize and hold her opinions at a distance; not in order to repress them, but, by investigating their origins, to penetrate more deeply into the background, where she will then discover the primordial images, just as the man does in his dealings with the anima.["Anima and Animus," CW 7, par. 336.]

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    Default Re: Soulmates?

    what an interesting concept.....

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    Default Re: Soulmates?

    You are in love with him. Just enjoy your dreammate, but don't confuse an infatuation with real, true and lasting love. You might become emeshed in a dreamworld if you place too much value on this crush, so merely amuse yourself with this fantasy but try to come to terms with a possible fear of abandonment or intimacy, which can destroy a healthy relationship. I think you should take chances and meet other men and continue on your life's path, seeing that this dream man is merely a projection of yourself and the parts of your personality you feel you lack.
    Be complete and whole in love with yourself and you will find a quality, fulfilling relationship with a man. You may be avoiding a relationship in the pursuit of a mirage in the desert, something that simply isn't real. You have one life to live, so do not spend too much time in an ethereal, nonexistent reality, which threatens to ruin courtships that could satisfy your basic needs. Bottom line--crushes aren't real.
    We may learn as children to seek out someone to save us, but we need to distinguish fantasy from reality. Your nighttime dalliances are sweet, but they are merely passing fancies and real love is based on respect and trust, not a singular attraction. The long-term relationship you desire might come with hard work and accepting a partner when romance isn't always there. There is more than just flowers and chocolates and love letters to a real love affair and with a long-term real love, we take the good with the bad and nurture one another and help each other to survive. You might want to read up on yin and yang and taoism to help you sort out the opposites attracting aspect to your relationships too. You may interpret someone as romantically interested in you that may not return your affection. Unrequited love may hurt, but it is a bouncing board toward finding something real and tangible.

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